Lost In Stormy Visions
by anotherweasley
Summary: Chapters 17-All complete!!!! This fic concerns John and Monica's first meeting...their investigation into Luke's disappearance.
1. Lost

Lost In Stormy Visions  
By: Olivia  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The sun shone brightly down on Barbara Doggett as she planted took another purple pansy out of its container and planted it in her flowerbed in front of her home.  
  
"Look at me Mom!"  
  
Barbara turned to see Luke peddling his new bicycle down the street; the one John had bought for him a few weeks ago for his birthday. He loved that bicycle. Too bad John wasn't around enough to see his only son enjoying the gift. John was gone too much these days. Being a detective in Brooklyn was not a nine-to-five job and John was just too dedicated. Not that he didn't make time for his family when he could, it was just that somewhere between being the wife of a marine and now of a cop, Barbara found that somehow her and John had grown distant as of late and that they had very little in common except for Luke. Luke...  
  
Barbara brushed these useless thoughts aside and looked toward her son who was about to round the corner of the block and be out of her sight. "That's six, Luke!" Barbara called out. Luke smiled and waved just before he disappeared round the bend. His Mom had kept her promise to faithfully count how many times he rode his bike around the block.  
  
Barbara turned her attention back to her flowerbed. There was just something about those little pansies that made her smile. She planted a few more yellow and purple pansies and then stood up to admire her work. Beautiful. She took off her garden gloves.   
  
Barbara turned in the direction her son should be coming from. She glanced at her watch. How long had it been since he had last come around that corner? It was silly to worry she knew. He probably stopped to talk to one of the neighborhood kids and show off his new bike. But maybe he had fallen off his bike and was hurt. She couldn't remember how much time had passed. She had been too engrossed in her planting.  
  
A sudden surge of panic rushed through her. Luke was okay. He's fine. He has to be.  
  
Barbara glanced anxiously at the corner. She carelessly tossed her garden gloves on the grass and started to walk in the direction he should be coming from. Then she started to run. She ran and ran until she got to the other side of the block and came to a horrifying stop at the sight of Luke's blue bike tipped over in the middle of the street abandoned and alone.  
  
No, God, no! Please no! her mind screamed. She ran up to the bicycle and looked in every conceivable direction shouting, "Luke!!!!!!!! Luke!!!!!!! Luke!!!!!!!!" But there was no answer.  
  
End Chapter One  
"No passion so effectively robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear."-Edmund Burke 


	2. Work

Lost In Stormy Visions  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 2  
  
Monica smiled at Brad as he picked up her right hand and kissed it tenderly. The two were alone in the elevator and almost at Monica's floor so she gently pulled her hand out of Brad's.  
  
The door pinged and opened at the fourth floor. For the people coming onto the elevator Monica said rather loudly, "Thanks for the lead, Agent Folmer. I'll be sure to look into it."  
  
"Anytime Agent Reyes," replied Brad with a smile. As Monica exited the elevator, he whispered, "Will I see you later?"  
  
"Maybe," said Monica with a quick, barely perceptible mischievous grin as she exited onto her floor.  
  
The elevator doors closed and whisked Brad and the other FBI personnel to their various destinations.  
  
Monica was still grinning as she walked down the hallway and entered her office. At her entrance her partner, Caleb Mattingly, looked up from his pile of work at her taping his watch. "You're late."  
  
Monica glanced down at her own watch and frowned. She had been losing track of time lately. It wasn't like her. "Sorry," she said as she took off her jacket and pressed the power button on her computer.  
  
"And wipe that stupid grin off your face," Caleb said in a good-humored attempt to try and lighten the mood after his earlier comment. Monica had covered his ass more times than he could count and he could at least let a few late mornings slide by.  
  
Monica smiled at him. It was a smile that lit up her eyes and that worried Caleb. "Sorry, Cay. I can't help it. But I can help being late and it won't happen again."  
  
Cay looked at his partner. "It's good to see you happy, Mon, really. But I just don't want to see you get hurt."  
  
"The overprotective brother role doesn't work for you, Cay. Why don't you and Abbey come out with us sometime? We can double date."  
  
Cay shook his head. "He's ambitious, Mon. He's just not your type."  
  
Monica laughed. "Not my type? How do you know what my type is? And what's wrong with being ambitious?"  
  
Cay opened his mouth to reply when the phone rang. He picked it up rather than replying to Monica's comment. "Mattingly. Yes, sir. I'll tell her." Cay hung up the phone. "The Big Man wants to see you."  
  
Monica just looked at Cay. "Did he say what he wanted?"  
  
"Nope, but I'm getting the impression that it has to do with a case. See what happens, Mon. You start doing well and they start giving you more work. I warned you."  
  
Monica laughed as she stood up and put back on her suit jacket. It was then that she noticed that Cay wasn't standing up. "Just me?"  
  
"Just you." At Monica's frown, Cay laughed. "Don't worry about me. I'll still be here when you get back."  
  
Monica nodded but when she got to the door, she gave Cay one last look.  
  
Cay just smiled at her. "Go on. And I'm sorry about my earlier comments. I have no right to say what you should do with your personal life. I'm only your partner."  
  
"Yes, but your also my friend and I value your opinion. You'd like him if you'd give him a chance."  
  
Cay just nodded to let her know that all was square business between them.  
  
Monica nodded and exited their office on her way to see the Big Man.  
  
Cay just stared after her and muttered, "I somehow doubt it."  
  
End of Chapter Two  
"This is the very ecstasy of love."-William Shakespeare 


	3. Case

Lost In Stormy Visions  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 3  
  
Monica knocked gently on A.D. Jackson's door.  
  
"Come!"  
  
Monica quickly entered the office only to find the Big Man yelling on the phone to some unseen person. Her and Cay called Jackson the Big Man not only due to his, well, large proportion, but also due to his being their boss. Monica walked up to his desk but gave herself a little bit of a distance. Jackson had a tendency to spit when he yelled. She just hoped she wasn't in trouble.  
  
A few seconds later, Jackson hung up the phone angrily and looked at Monica. "Agent Reyes," he said acknowledging her presence as he handed her a case folder. Jackson was a man of few words and didn't like to waste time with personal niceties. "At approximately eight thirty this morning a child was abducted from his home on Long Island. We believe him to have been kidnapped. His father is a Detective with the 2-7 in Brooklyn. Kidnapping falls under FBI jurisdiction and so we've taken the case. I've assigned you as the lead investigator in this case. Dismissed."  
  
Jackson was about to pick up his phone to place another call when a confused Monica said, "Sir?"  
  
"Is there a problem, Agent Reyes? All the information we have is in that folder," said Jackson.  
  
"No, sir. I'm just surprised I'm being assigned as a lead investigator to a kidnapping case."  
  
Jackson let out a breath and adjusted his belt. "You've been doing good work these past three years, Agent Reyes. It hasn't gone unnoticed. Agent Kirkpatrick told me what a great insight you had into the Culpepper kidnapping case two months ago, that he couldn't have closed it without you. Actually he said your insight was uncanny. I've got most of my agents tied up with the Rico investigation and I needed a good agent on this case and your name came up. This is a law enforcement officer's son and we're gonna treat it like it's one of our own. I've organized a task force for you. That list is in the folder. You'll also have the full cooperation of the Brooklyn police. I'd suggest leaving now. You know how critical the first 48 hours are."  
  
Monica nodded. Realizing that she had been dismissed, she quickly left her supervisor's office. Outside she quickly scanned the information and the task force list. She saw that Cay's name did not appear. Damn, she thought. But she quickly brushed those thoughts aside and hurried to the conference room to meet her task force. There was a little boy missing right now and Monica was determined that a happy reunion was going to happen before the day was through.  
  
End of Chapter 3  
"Let's go to work."-Quentin Tarantino 


	4. Meeting

Lost In Stormy Visions  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 4  
  
Monica could hear him yelling before she even entered the house. Deep inside the yelling jarred her nerves because she could feel him before she even saw him. She felt his anger at the person who had done this and the fear for his son's safety. Outwardly, she appeared calm. Fear and anger would only hold her back, preventing her from finding this man's son.  
  
She entered the house and walked up to the man who was yelling at one of her task force agents. "Excuse me, Detective Doggett?"  
  
Doggett stopped yelling at the agent and gave her his full attention. She could see from the flashing in his eyes he wanted to yell at her too, but inside she could tell that he was fighting an inner battle to regain some semblance of control over his turned upside down world and was losing. Curtly he said, "And you are?"  
  
Monica extended her hand, "I'm Agent Monica Reyes with the New York field office. I'm the lead investigator on your son's case. I'm very sorry that all this has happened but I assure you that we will find your son."  
  
John didn't take her hand. "Well then, Agent Reyes, you can tell your colleague here that I'm gonna be a part of this investigation. I'm not sittin' on the sidelines. I won't be kept out of the search for my son."  
  
His pain was palatable. Monica couldn't help but feel it even though she herself didn't have any children. But she too knew something of loss as everyone did. And in that instant she did something that all her training urged her not to do. He was too close to the case to be any good. He was emotional, erratic, and yet for some reason, Monica knew she needed him on this case. If there was one thing Monica had learned from her early childhood, it was to listen to her feelings. "I would welcome your assistance, Detective."  
  
Her words seemed to have stunned him. He was expecting a fight, expecting to be denied, expecting to have to wait at home and worry about his only child.  
  
Monica took a deep breath. "I'd like to speak to your wife first."  
  
John shook his head furiously. "She's dealin' with a lot right now. She's already told us everythin' she knows."  
  
Monica didn't know what possessed her to invade his personal space, but she put a hand on his arm. She felt a chill pass through her and yet the touch seemed to calm him. She looked right into his eyes. Quietly she said, "I am allowing you to investigate this case with me when I could just as easily deny your request. I understand that you and your wife are living through a horribly tragedy right now. I cannot know what it must be like for you two, but you are a detective. You know what needs to be done. We all want the same thing-to bring Luke safely home."  
  
John stared right into her eyes. He must have seen something in her eyes, something that dealing with criminals day in and day out, he must not have seen very often-he saw someone he could trust. Slowly he nodded and Monica followed him into the kitchen.  
  
End of Chapter 4  
"Grief fills the room up of my absent child/Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,/Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,/Remembers me all of his gracious parts,/Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form;/Then have I reason to be fond of grief.-William Shakespeare 


	5. Barbara

Lost In Stormy Visions  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 5  
  
Monica followed John into the kitchen where she found a blonde woman sitting at the table with another, older woman. The similarity was striking-mother and daughter. John sat down next to the blonde woman and put his hand on top of hers. The woman looked up at Monica. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were red rimmed, her mascara smeared. Even looking her worst, there was still a quiet beauty that emanated from this woman. Pain and suffering, fear and guilt, were taking its toll upon this woman who had lost her child, her only child. It didn't take Monica's sensitive nature to feel how she felt, and yet feel it she did.  
  
John leaned in close to his wife. "Barb, this is Agent Reyes. She's with the FBI. She's been put in charge of findin' Luke. She's gonna help me find him and bring him home safe."  
  
"I'm sorry to bother you right now Mrs. Doggett. I can't begin to know what you're going through but I know this is a horrible time for you right now. I know you've already gone over what happened with the police, but I need to hear it from you. I need to see if you remember anything else, anything at all that might help us find your son."  
  
Barbara nodded. Voice shaking she recounted what had happened this morning. By the end tears were coursing down her face. "I shouldn't have let him ride alone around the block. It had always been so safe. I never should have let him out of my sight."  
  
Monica saw John squeeze Barbara's hand as he leaned in close and whispered, "It's not your fault. It's not you're fault, Barbara."  
  
Monica was amazed. It had been her experience in cases like these that the one parent wound up blaming the other, but this wasn't happening here. In a second she realized why. They were each trying to take the blame upon themselves. They were each trying to spare the other one any pain they could. That simple thought filled her both with awe of and sadness for these two. She wanted to tell them that they couldn't blame themselves, that they never had the power to protect their son from every evil in the world.  
  
But before she could give voice to her feelings she saw that Barbara was looking at her. "Please, please find my son," she pleaded.  
  
Monica knew she should never make a promise that she didn't know she could keep. Her adoptive father had taught her that. But despite that, somehow the words came tumbling out due to a deep feeling she felt within her. "I'm going to find you son." There was no alternative now but to find Luke.  
  
End of Chapter 5  
  
"No one every told me that grief felt so like fear,"-C.S. Lewis 


	6. Confrontation

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 6  
  
Monica walked into Luke's room. It was a bright, blue, happy room that in spite of its cheerfulness, looked lonely without its occupant. She walked over to the dresser and took in the framed pictures. The smiling faces of Barbara, John, and Luke stared back at her, asking the world to defy their happiness.  
  
Monica tensed when she felt John's eyes boring into her back. "There's nothing to find in here. We need to be out there searching for my son."   
  
She knew he wondered what s.o.b. had assigned her, an agent only a couple of years out of the academy, as lead investigator to his son's case. She knew that this man, at least from what she had gather from his file, had, between being a Marine and New York City cop, seen more and experienced more of the worst humanity had to offer than she had. And yet she felt an unshakable feeling that she was meant to be on this case and that some how she would find his son. She couldn't tell him this, knowing he would merely dismiss her feelings outright as so many had done in the past. Not that it bothered her much what other people thought, but for some reason it bothered her what he might think. Maybe she just felt that under the present tragic circumstances, it was best to keep her feelings to herself.  
  
Monica turned and looked into John's hard eyes, eyes that had once been light and happy in those pictures she had been looking at mere moments ago. Despite his hard feelings toward her, Monica was not unsympathetic. His unbearable pain and anguish were merely hidden just beneath his anger. He wasn't angry with her. He was angry with the person who had taken his son. That person wasn't around for him to confront so he had to confront her. It was merely misdirected hostility and nothing more.  
  
Monica took a step closer to him. She knew he felt powerless as she did. She spoke sympathetically. "There's nothing we can do right now, Detective Doggett. We have agents and cops canvassing the neighborhoods searching for clues and witnesses. I've sent his picture out to every conceivable way off of Long Island from airports to bus terminals. I've got agents tracking down ex-cons that may have been in the area. The CSU team is going over the area of the abduction. The bicycle has been taken for lab analysis and fingerprints. I even have teams out searching the local woods and other viable locations. There's not a cop in this whole state who doesn't have a picture of your son right now. I also have agents tracking down every perp you tangled with who might have a grudge against you."  
  
John simply looked at Monica. He looked into her eyes. His look softened and Monica for the first time caught a glimpse of the man that he must have been before this tragedy took hold and started to unfold. His voice slightly cracking with emotion, he said, "I'm sorry Agent Reyes. I know you're doing everythin' you can. It's just...it's just...this is my son we're talkin' about. I'm his father. I'm supposed to protect him from all the evil in the world. And right now...right now...God only knows....I have to do somethin'..."  
  
Monica reached out and put her hand on his arm. Why did bad things happen to good people? "I know you're afraid. I know what you fear. But right now fear is only going to hold you back. It's not going to help you find your son. I told you I would help you find your son. That's exactly what I'm going to do."  
  
John nodded.  
  
Suddenly Monica's cell phone rang, breaking the moment. Surprising herself, she found that she was reluctant to let John's arm go, but she gently released her hold and reached inside her pocket for her phone. "Agent Reyes," she said into it.  
  
End of Chapter 6 


	7. Brad

Lost in Stormy Visions  
Chapter 7  
  
Monica walked outside the Doggett household, her cell phone still pressed against her ear. "This sort of isn't a good time right now, Brad."  
  
"So your partner Cay led me to believe when I called your office and you weren't there. He was less than specific about the details, and since he doesn't like me any way, I thought I would call. Is everything all right?"  
  
Monica let out a small sigh. Sometimes the weight of the world, or the life of one little innocent boy, was on your shoulders. "I'm on a case right now. I'm sorry I'm going to have to cancel our plans for tonight. In fact I'm not quite sure how long it's going to take. We've got a missing eight-year old boy. I can't really talk about the case too much but I'm in charge."  
  
"I understand," said Brad sympathetically. "And hey don't even worry about me. You just do what you need to do. There's um...some things I need to take care of anyway and this will give me the time to do that."  
  
Monica couldn't resist teasing him a bit. "What, you've got another girl on the side?" It felt good for a moment to escape the tragedy that surrounded her and speak with someone who wasn't depending on her for life and death decisions.  
  
Brad laughed uncomfortably. It didn't take Monica's sensitive nature to pick up that something was wrong. The thought of Brad cheating on her was ridiculous she knew. When she wasn't with him, she knew he was too busy climbing the FBI ladder to have the time. She thought of her partner Cay's warning about his ambition. She wished Cay were here to help her on this case. Hell, she wished she had found Luke already and could reunite him with his Mom and Dad. But wishing for a thing did not make it so as her adoptive father had taught her at their home in Mexico. It seemed like a millennium since she had been home. Home.  
  
Monica turned back and looked at the house. She could see John looking out the door at her. She could see his hopeful look, wondering if maybe she had some news about his son. Her heart was breaking for this man.  
  
Brad's voice startled her out of her thoughts. "Monica? Monica are you still there?"  
  
"Yeah, Brad," said Monica absently as she continued to look at John. "I'm still here, but I'd better go."  
  
"Of course. If I can do anything, help in any way, just let me know."  
  
Monica smiled sadly. "Thanks."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
Monica hit the end button. She started walking toward the door, walking toward John. She realized as she was walking that it was the first time Brad had told her that he loved her and it was the first time she had spoken the same words to him. It concerned her that Brad's words had been heartfelt and her response had been automatic. But this was neither the time nor the place to analyze her relationship with Brad. There'd be plenty of time for that later. He was a good man, as was Detective Doggett, in a world full of evil. She cared about him and he cared about her. That's all that seemed to matter right now.  
  
Monica opened the door into the Doggett home. "Sorry, personal call."  
  
John's face kept the same expression, but Monica could see the disappointment in his eyes. Another piece of her heart shattered and broke. She hated to disappoint him. He was looking to her to find his son and that's all she wanted to be able to do. But there was nothing to go on, no leads. It was as if Luke had just vanished from this Earth.  
  
End of Chapter 7 


	8. Time

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 8  
  
"John?"  
  
Both Monica and John turned to see Barbara standing a few feet away. Her look spoke volumes of her pain. All her tears had come and gone and now all that remained was the pain and fear that grew exponentially the longer Luke was gone.  
  
"Is there any news?" Barbara asked already knowing the answer but needing to ask the question any way. Maybe she feared that perhaps they already knew what had happened to her child and we afraid to tell her.  
  
John moved quickly away from Monica and over to Barbara to ally her fears. He took her aside, away from the task force, which had unceremoniously taken over their house and lives. Monica could not hear what they were saying as John spoke quietly. From his body language she could tell how awkward this was for him. He wanted to comfort his wife but was unsure how to do so. As he was unable to comfort himself, he was unsure how to comfort her except to reassure her that he didn't blame her, that this wasn't her fault, that they would find Luke.  
  
Monica walked into the living room, away from John and Barbara, trying to give them some space and some privacy. Monica's cell phone rang and inwardly she sighed. This had better be good news. "Monica Reyes."  
  
"Hey partner!"  
  
Monica smiled in spite of herself. "Cay."  
  
"The one and only. I got the lab results you wanted. I'm sorry to tell you Monica but they found nothing on the bike-no fingerprints other than family members, nothing. Nothing at the scene either," said Cay.  
  
"Damnit Cay there's nothing here to go on!" said Monica angrily and quietly so as to escape the task force's notice. Then another thought occurred to her. "Wait, how did you get this information?"  
  
"I've got friends in low places."  
  
At any other time Monica would have laughed at his joke.  
  
Cay went on. "Truth is they are pulling every person they can on this. I'm doing background checks of known criminals who might have been in that area around the time of the kidnapping. I'm also taking what the task force can give me by way of neighborhood descriptions of any suspicious persons in the area to see if they match any of the people on this list I'm compiling."  
  
"Thanks Cay," said Monica gratefully. She knew that Cay would always be there to help her out and watch her back, which was something that one couldn't always depend on in this world. In fact she was grateful to all who were helping with this case. She felt frustrated at their results but if there was nothing there, there was nothing there.   
  
"You're welcome," said Cay quietly but he meant it. He could sense her frustration over the phone. "Hey Monica you know what they say...it's good to be good but it's better to be lucky."  
  
Monica smiled sadly. "Yeah, well then I wish I was lucky." Monica saw that John was heading over to her and so she had to go. "Thanks for all your help, Cay, but I've got to go now."  
  
"Any thing you need...."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Monica switched off her phone and John came up in front of her. Monica shook her head. No results. "I'm sorry John, all the fingerprints on the bike were Luke's, yours, and your wife's. How's she holding up?"  
  
John sort of side stepped the question but his worry about Barbara was apparent to her. "I got her to go take some pills the doc gave her to help her sleep."  
  
At that statement Monica looked outside. Where had the day gone? Darkness was falling. If she felt helpless in this situation she had no idea how John was holding himself up.  
  
"Look Agent Reyes," began John, "I know we are doin' all that we can, but let's face it. There's been no ransom demand of any kind which mean....which means that whoever took my son is not interested in money. And I can't sit here and do nothin'. I need to be out there doin' somethin'. You know as well as I do that if we do not find Luke in 48 hours the chances of findin' him alive drop dramatically. I need to do somethin'!"  
  
Monica looked at John, feeling his pain, his helplessness. Or was it her own? The logical part of her brain told her that she shouldn't let him be involved, that he or his wife could be a suspect. When a child went missing wasn't it the top priority to look to the nearest and dearest? Maybe there was strife between the husband and wife that she wasn't able to discern after only knowing them for less than 12 hours. After all hadn't only family member's fingerprints been found on the bike? Sure they both had witnesses but it didn't mean that they hadn't hired someone else to kidnap the boy.  
  
But despite all of her training, Monica couldn't shake the feeling, and she had learned to trust her feelings long ago, that John and Barbara had nothing to do with their son's disappearance. With no ransom demand the situation was looking more and more grim. It was the one fear that no one wanted to admit-the kidnapper might be a pedophile. She knew Cay was running that lead down as he looked for criminals who might have been in the neighborhood.  
  
Monica weakly attempted to dissuade John. "Your wife needs now."  
  
John looked directly into Monica's eyes. She saw his determination. "I know. I know. But right now my son needs me more. He could be out there in the dark wonderin' why his Mom and Dad haven't come to take him home. I cannot sit ideally by. Someone told me today that my fear is holdin' me back. Well I'm not gonna let my fear stand in my way. I have to find my son."  
  
Monica nodded. She understood. 


	9. Search

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 9  
  
Monica and John shone their flashlights deep into some local woods nearby John's home. They had joined one of the search parties that were out this night looking for any sign of Luke.  
  
The two hadn't talked much either in the ride over nor now. The truth was there wasn't much to say in regards to Luke. Neither one wanted to admit that the fact that looking for Luke in the woods was a bad indication that he would ever be found alive. At least they felt as if they were doing something and yet at the same time they felt as if it was the wrong something. There should be some lead. There should be something to focus their investigation on. But there was nothing.  
  
With the night having fallen the temperature had dropped dramatically. Monica stopped for a second to zip up her black leather jacket. She looked up to find John looking at her. She wasn't surprised to see concern in his eyes but she was surprised to see that he was concerned for her.   
  
"You okay, Agent Reyes?" In the depths of his own tragedy, he was concerned for her and that simple thing completely blew her away.  
  
"Fine, thank you," Monica said quietly. "Just a little chilly that's all. And you can call me, Monica."  
  
John nodded but Monica somehow felt that he would be calling her Agent Reyes for a long...Monica didn't want to think how long this tragedy might continue. Maybe it was better to keep their profession distance.  
  
The two kept walking through the woods some more with the other members of the search team spread out in a line. Their shouts echoed the other members. "Luke! Luke! Luke!" But of course there was no response.  
  
Their throats were raw from shouting in the cold air and eventually both Monica and John continued their search in silence as the other members of the search party continued to call out.  
  
It was John who eventually broke the silence. "So tell me bout yerself Agent Reyes?"  
  
Monica looked at John quizzically. Why would he want to know about her during a time like this?  
  
"Truth is all this silence...keep on thinkin' bout my son. I need...."  
  
Monica understood. "I...um...." The truth was she didn't know where to being. At what point in time did one start telling a virtually complete stranger about his or her life? What were the essential facts that would help John understand who she was? Did she even want to tell him things that would help him understand her?  
  
John sensed her confusion. Not thinking that they might be pressure questions he asked, "Are you married? Do you have any children?"  
  
Monica shook her head. "No not married. No children." For some reason she didn't feel like telling John about Brad. Her and Brad's relationship was so new any way. But she did want to be open with John. That's the way she was with the people she felt that she could trust.  
  
"So you joined the FBI.....?"  
  
"Yes. I was born in Austin, Texas. When I was very little I was adopted. My adoptive parents were Mexican and they raised me in a little town close to Mexico City. When it was time to go to college I decided to come back to the U.S. I went to Brown University. I graduated from there with a degree in folklore and mythology. One of my good friends there was going through the application process for the FBI. I don't know, maybe his excitement about it rubbed off on me, but I just knew that's where I needed to be so I applied."  
  
Monica and John stepped over a fallen tree.  
  
John was suddenly struck by how little he knew about this woman who had stepped into his life to find his son. He realized how much more there was to her. "So did they assign you to the New York field office?"  
  
"I requested it actually. That friend of mine had transferred here. Told me how exciting life in the Big Apple was. I've spent so much time in the heat that I was excited about seeing lots of snow. My request was granted so here I am," explained Monica.  
  
"So this friend of your's..." asked John.  
  
He let his question hang in the air and Monica laughed quietly. "No Cay and I are just friends. Partners and friends, but nothing else."  
  
John thought Monica had a nice laugh. He thought that it would have been nice had they met under different circumstances. But he now knew that this woman and his son's disappearance would forever be linked. He hoped they found Luke alive and well. If not, he'd hate to look at this woman and think of his son with regret...  
  
An awkward silence fell between the two. She thought about asking John about himself, but she had read his case file. Born and raised in New York, he joined the U.S. Marine Corps after finishing college at New York University. There he quickly rose through the ranks to Sergeant in their Amphibious Unit and spent time in the Multi-National Peacekeeping Force in Lebanon. He retired from the military when in his sixth year in he was wounded, shot in the shoulder protecting a U.S. Ambassador and her children. He came home to his wife, Barbara, his high school sweetheart, and to settle down. They moved to Syracuse where John used the education financial assistance to get his Master's and Doctoral degree in Public Administration. John then became a New York City cop, moving himself and his infant son to Long Island. John again moved quickly through the ranks to his current position-Detective in the Fugitive Warrant's Division.   
  
And here he was in the flesh searching for his lost son. But what the paper file couldn't tell Monica was who John Doggett really was but she was slowly beginning to find out on her own in this time they had spent together. What the file failed to tell her, what she now knew, was that John Doggett deserved every commendation he ever received and maybe more. He was a good man, a determined man, a hardworking man, a man that she could positively say didn't deserve the things that were happening to him. No one did. She wished she had gotten a chance to meet him, to get to know him, really know him, apart from this. But had Luke never disappeared, their paths might never have crossed. Monica felt a cold breeze hit her, chilling her.  
  
The two continued their search well into the night and early morning hours. 


	10. Suspect

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 10  
  
"Agent Reyes."  
  
Monica yawned. She tried several times to open her eyes. Finally, she succeeded. Slowly, she swiveled her legs around so she was in a sitting position on the sofa.  
  
At first she didn't know who the man was that was standing in front of her. Then the memories came like a lightening bolt-a missing boy, the search, no clues. She sighed inwardly. So it wasn't just a bad dream after all.  
  
How much time had she lost?! Her mind started screaming at her, berating her. She was supposed to be finding this man's son, not falling asleep on his back porch sofa. She had only meant to close her eyes for a moment after they got back from searching the woods... Was that the morning sun beaming in through the windows?  
  
"I'm so sorry, Detective Doggett..." she began.  
  
John shook his head, dismissing any apology as unnecessary. But his kindness to her didn't diminish her feelings of guilt. John obviously hadn't sleep and neither should she. It didn't matter that she was only human or that she hadn't had a moment's rest in the past twenty-four hours. He should have been the one sleeping and not me, she thought.  
  
John's voice broke Monica away from her thoughts. "You're partner Agent Mattingly couldn't reach you on your cell so he called here. They finally spoke with a lady a couple of blocks away from here as she was leavin' for work. They showed her some pictures of some men that Agent Mattingly had put together and...," John struggled to get the rest of it out as his voice shook with fear, rage, and sadness., "she saw a man by the name of Bob Harvey across her street yesterday mornin' near bouts the time Luke disappeared. Manhattan tried to convict him last year for being a...pedophile," John choked on the word, "but he got off on a technicality. They've got him down at the 2-7 right now. They're waitin' on us."  
  
Monica's heart leapt, crashed, and burned all in the span of a minute at the news. Finally, what could be a break and yet it might be the one thing their hearts had all feared all along.  
  
Monica looked at John. Us, she thought? I should go alone. But what she saw in John's eyes brooked no argument. She saw the determination to find his son, a son that he loved dearly. She saw a man who cared more about others than himself.  
  
John put out his hand to help Monica up on her feet. She hesitated for a second and then took the proffered hand. When she got to her feet their eyes locked. Tension flared for a moment before they both ignored it, pretending it wasn't there. It wasn't real, she thought. She barely knew this man. She only felt like she did. Tragedy did that to people. Monica reached down, picking her jacket and car keys off the floor. It was time to go and see this Bob Harvey. 


	11. Interrogation

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 11  
  
Monica sat down at the table and looked across at the man. He looked so ordinary. Just an average Caucasian-average weight, average height, just average. Middle aged, thinning, black hair, he was the type of man one could pass on the street and not give a second look to. But Monica knew that evil hide behind a multitude of innocent looking faces. People always expected humans who preyed on others to look like monsters; easily recognizable, when the truth was they looked ordinary. That is why so many victims always fell to these types of people. Bob Harvey could be innocent, well at least of kidnapping Luke.  
  
Even though John was out of her direct line of sight, she could feel him behind her, tense, lurking in the darkness of the interrogation room, watching, waiting. He was ready to pounce on this man, but was holding himself back from beating the information out of him. The truth was they had never worked an interrogation together before now. They would be out of step and John, for the present time, would wait and let Monica take the lead. She was, after all, the lead investigator.  
  
"Mr. Harvey," began Monica, "an eye-witness places you near 18th and Lexington yesterday morning around ten." A truth, something to get him talking.  
  
Bob glanced at Monica and then at John leaning against a wall, arms crossed. He turned his attention back to Monica. He was nervous, edgy, but that didn't mean he was guilty. Who wouldn't be nervous being dragged down to a station house for questioning?  
  
Voice shaking, Bob said, "Yes, yes I was there."  
  
"Mr. Harvey, what were you doing there at that time of the morning? You live in Brooklyn as I'm told."  
  
"I was, um...going to meet someone."  
  
"And who were you meeting?"  
  
Beads of sweat appeared on his brow. Monica could tell he was thinking, thinking hard about his answer. "Well, I uh...I got my days mixed up. I was going to work."  
  
Monica glanced down at her file of Bob Harvey that lay in front of her and then back up at him. "You work at the restaurant Little Anthony's in Manhattan. What were you doing all the way out here on Long Island?"  
  
"I was meeting someone from work. We're...uh...thinking about opening up another restaurant here on the Island. We were checking out a possible location."  
  
Monica looked at Bob. She could sense he was holding something back, but that didn't make him a kidnapper. His story could be easily verified. Monica pulled out a pen and her notepad. She put it in front of Bob. "Would you please right down the name of the person you were meeting as well as your supervisor? I'll need their addresses and phone numbers."  
  
Bob just nodded as he wrote down the information and handed it back to Monica. She could tell he was hoping that all was over, but it wasn't. So far Monica had gotten nowhere in her questions to Bob so she decided to change tactics. It being well within her rights, she lied to Bob. "We also have an eye witness who places you talking with a young boy yesterday morning." Monica slid over a picture of a smiling Luke Doggett and placed it in front of Bob. "This boy is missing."  
  
Vehemently, Bob shook his head. He slid the picture back to Monica. "No, no way, I didn't see or speak to any boy, or that boy!"  
  
"Are you sure....," began Monica when John, unable to stand this any longer took a seat beside her.   
  
John took the picture of his son and slid back across the table to Bob. He felt sick to his stomach being here, but he knew what had to be done. He knew the place inside himself that he needed to go to in order to get a confession out of Bob and he had put it off for too long. He had dealt with these types of monsters before. He knew he had to sympathize with Bob in order to get him to open up.  
  
John took a deep breath and inwardly stopped himself from vomiting. "He's a sweet boy you know. There's a school near here. Sometimes during lunch I like to walk there, watch the kids play."  
  
When John looked up at Bob he could tell that he knew where all this was going. He had been down this road before, cops sympathizing with him, trying to earn his trust and then turning it against him. Any advantage they had had over him was lost.   
  
Bob shook his head, "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
John's short fuse broke at this point. Something snapped inside of him. He stood up yelling. "You sick freak! I wanna know where my son is! You tell me where my son is!"  
  
Monica quickly shot a panicked hand out and placed it on John's arm. This was exactly why she hadn't wanted him in the room during questioning. "John..."  
  
But John was impervious to her. In fact he didn't ever remember that she was there. All he could see was Bob Harvey. All he could see was that the answer to his son's whereabouts lay in this man and if he wasn't going to speak then John was going to make him. He ran around the table and forcibly grabbed Bob out of his chair, throwing him against the wall. He was screaming at him. "Tell me where my son is! Tell me where my son is!"  
  
Cops poured into the room pulling John off of a very scared and frightened Bob Harvey. They dragged John out of the room kicking and screaming.   
  
Monica was left alone in the room with Bob and she felt the utter hopelessness of it all. They would get no further information about of him concerning Luke, if he had any to give. 


	12. Repercussions

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 12  
  
"What the hell were you thinking!"  
  
Monica winced. She was only able to glance at the Big Man face before looking back down at her hands. That one vein in Jackson's temple was throbbing again. Between the smoking, high-cholesterol meals, and stress his heart was a ticking time bomb. That she was the cause, okay she admitted it, a constant cause, of stress to her supervisor made her feel even worse than she already felt.  
  
If Monica had felt more justified in her actions throughout this case, she would have stood her ground. The harsh truth was, she realized, the Big Man was right. She had let an emotional father be involved in the investigation of his own son's disappearance. He was too close to the case. She should have kept him at a distance. There was a reason for regulations. At worst, John Doggett could have been a suspect; at best he could have given them a vital clue to helping them find Luke. He never should have been involved. Maybe she had allowed her own feelings to cloud her judgment? Maybe she had wanted to get to know him?  
  
Monica finally gathered up her strength and looked up at her supervisor. She suddenly realized his question wasn't rhetorical. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. What could she say? There was no evidence, no clues. Their one possible suspect, Bob Harvey, was now keeping his mouth shut as instructed by the lawyer he had called for after John attacked him. The bottom line was she had failed to find a missing boy. Her failure made her heart sink to the lowest she had ever known.  
  
The Big Man, perhaps sensing Monica's feelings, took a deep breath. He had gotten his point across. He walked back around his desk and sat down wearily. "I just received a call. The supervisor confirms Bob Harvey's story that he did have a meeting. We also spoke to the man Bob met with. Harvey met him at the appointed time, didn't seem in any way nervous or agitated. He saw no sign of any boy. You have no fingerprints or any other hard evidence to tie him to the crime. I think this is a dead end and you're lucky it is cause I had a hard time keeping the wolves at bay for letting you allow Detective Doggett into that interrogation room."  
  
"Thank you, Sir. I...I...at the time I had felt, with Detective Doggett's expertise and knowledge of the boy, I thought he would be an asset to the investigation."  
  
Jackson nodded. He ran a hand though his thinning, premature graying, hair and looked at his Agent. He felt for her. Every agent in the Bureau, if they lasted long enough, had that case, that one case that just didn't have any leads to follow and yet screamed for justice. This would be her case, he thought. "Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you Agent Reyes. But right now I'm sorry to say that it's been 48 hours. As you know, the chances of finding the boy alive have just plummeted. I've been told to scale back the search..."  
  
"Sir!" Monica said rising to her feet prepared to argue until she lost her voice for continued resources to find Luke, but Jackson beat her to the it.  
  
"I know. I'm keeping them back, but I can only hold them off for another 24 hours. At that time, the search will be scaled back and you will be removed as lead investigator. We simply don't have the manpower and money to continue as if this was the only boy who was missing in the country, even if his father is one of our own." The Big Man's voice was not unkind.  
  
Monica knew Jackson was watching her back and was doing all he can. They all had to answer to somebody. Jackson looked at her. "You've got 24 hours Agent Reyes."  
  
Monica nodded and quickly left his office. 


	13. Release

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 13  
  
Monica just barely made it out of the Big Man's office before her shoulders slumped at the weight of the world upon her shoulders. She couldn't remember ever having felt this depressed, this without hope, before. She looked down the hall and spying the women's restroom she knew that's where she needed to go-to compose herself, to find a few moments of quite solitude.  
  
She walked into the bathroom and checked underneath the stalls. She was all alone as the last rays of sunlight came pouring through the frosted glass window.  
  
Monica walked up to the sink. Her hands gripping the side of it, she looked up into the mirror that hung right above the sink. She looked like hell, but that wasn't what bothered her. It was her eyes that were staring right back at her, that were telling her she had failed and that if Luke was still alive, he soon wouldn't be. Suddenly, something changed about the eyes. For a second it was as if Luke's terrified eyes were staring back at her, then Barbara's and finally John's disappointed and heartbroken eyes. Then she snapped back to her own eyes staring back at her in confusion. That was when the tears started to fall.  
  
It was a release that had been needed after two days of a fruitless search for the missing son of a man she had learned to respect and care about in this short period of time. She realized at the end of this journey, she would not be able to face him. She would not be able to look him in the eye and tell him that his son would be lost, quite possibly, forever. She knew that when that moment came, his disappointed and heartbroken eyes would haunt her forever, as would the face of a smiling, happy, blond haired little boy who never deserved the hand life had dealt him.  
  
Monica hunched over the sink, unable to look at herself in the mirror any longer. The tears flowed freely coursing down her cheeks and finally falling into the sink. But it was not a silent cry as a few sobs escaped her throat.  
  
After a few seconds she heard the gentle tapping at the door and a man's voice calling her name softly. Monica stood up, quickly wiping the tears away and gathering her composure. She must have waited too long to answer because the next moment John Doggett stuck his head in the bathroom door. Seeing her, seeing her all alone, he proceeded into the women's restroom. Under any other circumstances, Monica would have thought this was strange and would have said something, but right now a man in the women's restroom was the absolute least of her worries.   
  
John walked up to her saying, "Agent Reyes, I'm really sorry about back there in the interrogation...." John never finished his sentence. It was then that he really looked at Monica and he realized, taking in her red eyes and bright cheeks, that she had just been crying. He was at a loss for words. He had come in to apologize for his outburst, knowing that he had been totally out of place, now that he had calmed down. He knew the routine and had been only hoping that he hadn't caused any irreparable damage to the search for his son, that he hadn't caused Monica any trouble. It had been he who had insisted to be included in the investigation and all the trouble of it should be his. And here was this woman crying about the loss of his son, a boy she had never met. Not for the first time since he had met her, John was blown away. His heart was suddenly filled with a love for this woman, a woman who cared deeply, who was doing everything in her power, to find his son. For this alone, he would be eternally grateful to her.  
  
But Monica, alone in her own grief, could sense none of this. She only knew that he realized she had been crying. She reasoned he probably thought that she had become too emotionally involved in the case, that she was unfit to continue. She thought he was right. "Detective Doggett, I...um...I have just been informed that Bob Harvey's alibi has been verified. There is nothing to tie him to the disappearance of Luke. They are going to release him presently."  
  
She had been expecting some sort of argument, but got none. John only betrayed his disappointment by the slight drop in his shoulders. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that they only had 24 hours left before the investigation was scaled back. But that thought made her say something she never thought she'd ever hear herself say. "Maybe, maybe it would be best if I requested that they assign another Agent as lead investigator."  
  
John looked up at her startled at her words. "No," he said firmly.  
  
It was Monica's turn to look surprised. It was not the answer she had been expecting. She opened her mouth to reply but she never got the chance. John took a step closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder. His touch was electric. He looked into her eyes and said, "I need you on this case." That was all he said. It was all that needed to be said, but a moment later the two felt that some line had been crossed that perhaps shouldn't have. Somewhat reluctantly, and surprised at his reluctance, John removed his hand from her shoulder and then walked out of the bathroom leaving a stunned Monica all alone in the now darkened restroom.  
  
There had been something in his words, his look, his touch, that filled Monica with a renewed sense of hope. She was going to find Luke Doggett. 


	14. Luke?

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 14  
  
Early the next morning, Monica stared at a map of Luke Doggett's neighborhood in the task force center located within the New York field office for the FBI. If someone had taken Luke, where would he have gone? The truth was Luke could be miles away after three days of being missing. Still she could not give up hope not only because of Luke himself, but his parents as well.  
  
As far as Monica knew, John was still at his home. They had parted at police headquarters where they had questioned Bob Harvey. Barbara had called him anxious to know what progress they had made. Was this Harvey fellow the man? Did he know where Luke was? It had turned out to be a dead end as all their leads had.  
  
You should go home and be with your wife, Monica had said to him on the steps outside the building. When he hesitated she said, I won't stop until I find your son. He had nodded, once. He knew she spoke the truth and yet he still hesitated as if by leaving he would be giving up, letting Luke down. She sensed the reason for his hesitation and added, I call you as soon as I know anything. There's nothing you can do right now. And that's how they had parted.  
  
Monica turned her attention back to the map. She reached out, touching the spot marked with an X where Luke's bike had been found. "Where are you, Luke?" she whispered. The map made no reply, but Monica swung around startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Sorry," Cay quickly apologized.  
  
"It's okay..." said Monica and then she looked at his face. Her heart dropped into her shoes. "Oh no. Oh, God, no..."  
  
Cay quickly shook his head. "We don't know if it's him. Local cops found a boy's body in a grass field near the woods in Lincoln Park."  
  
"We've got to go! I've got to go! I've got to see if it's him!" exclaimed Monica as she grabbed her jacket.   
  
Before she could race out the door Cay stopped her with a solemn question that needed an answer. "Do you want me to contact the parents?"  
  
Monica turned and looked at Cay knowing full well he could easily read the emotional turmoil that she was in. If she was this bad, she could only imagine how Barbara and John would be. She debated the question in her mind and after a few moments slowly shook her head. "No. I don't want to put them through this unless I'm absolutely sure that this is Luke. They've been through so much already." 


	15. Vision

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 15  
  
Monica stared at the little, lifeless, yellow-haired boy lying face down in the open grassy field. His eyes were closed, his head twisted sideways. If Monica hadn't known better, she would have thought he was asleep. He looked peaceful which was the exact opposite of how Monica felt standing there looking at him.  
  
A gamut of emotions ran through her as she gazed at Luke. She felt an overwhelming sadness at the loss and felt bitterly anger at the person who had done this to him. But she was also angry at herself, at her inability to find Luke and save him.  
  
Monica barely acknowledged the somber police officers whom, with herself, formed a protective circle around the boy. All Monica could see in her mind's eye were visions of Luke as she had seen him in pictures-a happy bright-eyed boy who loved his parents just as much as they loved him. John and Barbara...how was she ever to tell them? Her own grief, her own disappointment would be nothing compared to theirs.  
  
At the sound of a car door closing, Monica glanced back over her shoulder. It was him. It was John. Who had called him? But that answer didn't matter much to her right now. He was here and that was all that mattered. Seeing her and the officers in the circle he stopped. Their eyes locked. Monica was unable to turn away and he was easily able to see the grief that was etched in her eyes. He knew. He knew without her having to say a word that it was Luke. His grief froze him, rooted him to the spot. He was unable to move or speak.  
  
Finally, painfully, he got his legs moving, one foot in front of the other until he made it up the small hill to Monica's side. He had to see it for himself. He wouldn't believe it otherwise. The other officers parted and moved away, back down the hill, allowing him to view his son's body, allowing him time to grief, allowing him all the personal privacy they could afford at this moment of irrevocably loss.  
  
Only Monica stayed. John never broke eye contact as he walked toward her. It was as if with his eyes he was pleading with her not to leave him, not to leave him alone to deal with this, to help him. Monica would have done anything for him at that moment. She would have done anything to bring his son back to life and place him in the loving arms of his father, a father who would never be able to hug him, watch him ride his bicycle, read him a bed time story, or tell him that he loved him.  
  
John finally reached the spot where Monica stood. He reached out to hold her arm, steadying himself. After a few moments he broke eye contact and looked down, looked down at his dead son. At his quick intake of breath, Monica painfully looked down at Luke. And that was when she saw something completely startling.  
  
The body of Luke was glowing with red flames from within, as if he was on fire. In a few seconds the flames burst forth, reducing the body to ashes, which blew away in the wind leaving nothingness behind.  
  
Shocked, Monica turned to look at John who continued to stare at the spot. "Did you see.....?"  
  
John nodded once, shakily. Monica looked back down at the ground and she was even more shocked to see Luke again, lying exactly as they had found him. No red flames, no ashes, just Luke, resting for all eternity, beyond all mortal cares, pains, or concerns.  
  
John slowly fell to his knees next to his son. He reached out gently and touched his son's cheek. When he felt the coldness Monica knew was there, John quickly drew back his hand in fright. This was no bad dream. It was real. It was all real. His only child, his son was dead forever.  
  
Monica kneeled down next to him. John was barely aware that she was there anymore. All he knew at that moment was his all consuming grief as his body stared to shake and heavy tears coursed down his cheeks in never ending procession. Monica reached out and enfolded John in an embrace and wished with all her might that she could ease his pain for even just a moment. But she knew that was impossible, just as it was impossible to make his son breathe again. And at that very moment, Monica's heart broke for this man she desperately loved. 


	16. Funeral

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 16  
  
Monica stood periphery of the assembled group. She looked around the sea of black and saw nothing that struck her as unusual, out of the ordinary. And yet it was unusual, was out of the ordinary course of life that she was here. She kept looking for the person who was responsible, hoping somehow he or she would appear for one last time. But it looked as if she was robbed of even that slim hope after a few moments of fruitless searching. Her eyes came back to what they had been studying before-the little white casket amid the sea of people dressed in black.  
  
She looked a little up from the casket to see John and Barbara. John's eyes were red-rimmed as he kept on arm around his sobbing wife. Despair and grief were etched into their faces, in what seemed like at that moment, for all eternity. To Monica, they seemed a little detached to each other, as if each had been swallowed up by their own grief. As much as they may have wanted to comfort each other, both were fighting their inner demons right now. They had wounds that would never really heal, that would be with for the rest of their lives.  
  
And for Monica too, she thought surprisingly and yet unsurprised. After finding Luke's body she had tried to become detached from her own sorrow, from blaming herself for Luke's death. She tried not to think that the reason they were all here right now was because of her, because she couldn't find Luke in time to save him. She knew her feelings were irrational, but that's just what feelings were sometimes. This case would stay with her the rest of her life.  
  
The priest said his final words and said something about a gathering at the Doggett home. The mourners started to disperse. Monica inwardly sighed and turned. The Big Man had already given her another case in an attempt to focus her mind on something else. Monica's heart wasn't in it truth be told, but life had to carry on. There were others who needed her help if she could give it to them.  
  
"Agent Reyes!"  
  
Monica turned around before she had gotten more than a few steps and found herself face to face with John. She could feel the tears welling up inside of her at the sight of him. His grief emanating from him threatened to consume her. Monica tried to speak the words she had been meaning to for days, "I'm so..."  
  
John shook his head, waving away her apology. "You did everythin' you could. I know you did. There was just nothin' to go on."  
  
Monica looked deep into his eyes and knew that he spoke the truth to her. And yet she saw something there, something that told her that he didn't blame her, but blamed himself. She wanted to reassure him but she didn't get the chance because John spoke.  
  
"Will you....will you becomin' back to the house? I know Barbara and I...."  
  
It was Monica's turn to shake her head. "I'm sorry, I..." But how was she to tell him that she had another case, that life was moving on? But she had to tell him. As painful as it was he had to know. "Due to lack of leads, the investigation is being made inactive."  
  
She could see anger in his eyes, see it in the tensing of his muscles. He was powerless to stop it as he had been powerless to save his son. But Monica wanted to reassure him, to let him know what she had decided to do. "But I just wanted to let you know that I won't give up."  
  
John nodded once, gratefully. Monica knew that he too would never give up so long as Luke's killer was free.  
  
There was an awkward silence between the two for a few moments. Then Monica brought up something she knew would be painful, and yet at the same time she thought it might be a clue. She needed his help though to interpret the vision they had seen. It was the only thing she had to go on. "I wanted to, to talk to you about what we saw, the vision we saw when we found...."   
  
Monica got no further than that. John's temper flared. Quietly, so as not to draw attention to themselves, but angrily John said, "There was no vision, okay?! Whatever we saw was just a figment of our imagination!"  
  
Monica was taken aback at his vehemence. She opened her mouth to protest that it had to be real if they both saw it, but then she closed her mouth. It was pointless to argue with him right now. Maybe after he had had some time to cool off.  
  
John for his part was immediately sorry for his outburst, in so far as that it might have caused Monica pain. "I'm sorry," John said quietly, all anger gone from his voice. "I just don't believe that we saw anything, or if we did, it doesn't mean anything."  
  
Monica, although disagreeing with his assessment of the vision, accepted his apology.   
  
John tried one more time to get Monica to come over the house. He was, as was Monica, reluctant to say good-bye after all they had gone through together. After all the tragedy that had brought them together, was this the end? He had a life to get back to and so did she. Monica thanked him, but declined.  
  
John put out his hand. Monica accepted his offer and yet she wished she could hug him, hold him, as she had done out there in that field just a few days ago. She wanted to ease his pain and yet she knew in her heart there was really nothing that could be done. He would carry his pain and grief alone to the bitter end. That's just the sort of man he was. He would always blame himself. He would never be able to do enough or suffer enough for Luke's death.  
  
Hesitatingly, John said, "I just want you to know, how much I appreciated...how I..." John couldn't get the words out but Monica nodded her head. She understood so John said suddenly. "Luke would have liked you-a lot."  
  
Monica's heart wrenched again. Just when she thought it could take no more grief, she realized how much of a compliment John had given her. She said, "I know I would have liked him a lot too."  
  
And for the briefest of moments, a smile lit up John's face. For a moment, Monica caught the glimpse of John before all this care and worry had turned his world up side down. She hoped that someday, he would be able to smile and laugh, his heart happier, that it was now.  
  
"Good-bye," said John reluctantly releasing Monica's hand. "You'll let me know if...."  
  
"Yes, I will," said Monica. "Good-bye."  
  
John looked at her one last time, conveying all his gratitude to her in that one look, before turning back and disappearing into the crowd of mourners. Monica watched the direction he had gone in for a few moments before turning around and heading toward her own car. 


	17. Paths

Lost In Stormy Visions  
Chapter 17  
  
Monica winded her way through the gleaming white headstones toward her car. Her heart was the heaviest it had ever been.  
  
At last she finally had found her way back to her car. She saw a man in a suit leaning against it. She raised her hand over her eyes shielding them from the harsh glaring sun and saw who it was-Brad. Inwardly she sighed and then just as quickly rebuked herself. It was nice that he was here but she had been hoping for some more time alone to sort out her thoughts and feelings.  
  
Monica walked up to Brad and attempted a smile despite her grief.  
  
"Hey," Brad said soothingly as he enveloped her in a hug. "I'm..uh...sorry I'm late. I had a meeting that couldn't be avoided. Cay told me you'd be here. He said that you told him you just wanted to do this alone. But I didn't want you to be alone."  
  
A few tears escaped Monica's eyes as she wrapped her arms around Brad's waist. Cay was right that Brad was not a perfect person but then nobody was, not even herself. He was a good guy in spite of everything. Monica was lucky to have found him. Which is why she felt guilty that her heart during this case had moved in another direction, a direction that was impossible to follow, even if her feelings had been reciprocated. John was a married man who loved his wife, who had just gone through a horrible tragedy that no parent should have to bear. He now had a life to reassemble and she had a life to get back to.  
  
Monica felt Brad kiss the top of her head and then she slowly, painfully extricated herself from his arms. She smiled at him, her tears still shining in her eyes. "Thanks, Brad." She was indeed grateful after all that he had stopped by.  
  
Brad returned her smile. "You want me to drive you somewhere? We can always come back and get your car."  
  
Monica shook her head. "No thanks. I have to go meet Cay. We've got another assignment."  
  
Brad nodded. "Okay then. So I'll see you later?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
With that they parted. Monica watched Brad walk away toward his own car until she could no longer see him. She opened her car door, but before she got in she took one last look at the little white coffin in the distance. She wondered if she would ever see John Doggett again. She had seen that vision, they had both seen it, despite John's insistence that they hadn't, or if they had it didn't mean anything. But Monica knew it meant something, something important. It could be the key that would lead them to Luke's killer. Luke's death, this vision, had bound the two of their fates somehow. And that's when Monica knew in her heart that this was not over. She would see John Doggett again. She didn't know how or when, but their paths would cross.  
  
Monica got into her car, feeling strangely calmed by her thoughts. Perhaps there is hope after all, she thought as she drove out of the cemetery on to meet Cay for their next assignment.  
  
The End  
  
"Greif fills the room up of my absent child,/Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,/Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,/Remember me of all his gracious parts,/Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form;/Then I have reason to be fond of grief."-William Shakespeare-"King John"  
  
"Peace, peace! He is not dead, he doth not sleep-/He hath awakened from the dream of life-/`Tis we, who lost in stormy visions, keep/With phantoms an unprofitable strife."-Percy Bysshe Shelley-"Adonais"   
  
REYES: And then there was the vision.   
DOGGETT: No, there's no connection. I don't care what you saw, you leave it alone ...  
"Empedocles" 


End file.
